On prayer and a slap in the face, that wasn’t.


2018-Journal-graphicDo the Scriptures sometime seem to come back and slap you in the face? It almost felt that way this morning as I reviewed a verse that had been an anchor in 1990. A time of decision of belief. A crisis of faith as some may say.

Our 5 year-old son had endured a year of treatments for cancer. A second biopsy revealed the cancer returned or hadn’t been eradicated. Either way, my prayer for my son had not been answered as I had hoped, asked, trusted and believed for. No miracle of healing by God. No cure by man. It was still there threatening our son’s life. What will I do in face of this heartbreaking news?

What does this mean about Scriptures and their truth of message? Are they wrong, untrustworthy? Are they fables or myths not to be believed? Or. Could it be they are much richer and meaningful than my finite mind is capable to comprehend? As the Psalmist wrote about the knowledge of God: “…(it) is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand.” Psalm 139:6

Do I abandon my belief in God? Call him a liar and declare it all a myth because things did not go as I desired? Or do I stick it out because He IS God?

I have few specific memories of events at that time. But, I do have a 3×5 card in front of me with a verse written on it and a dated note: 2nd Biopsy around Aug. 1990. I also have journals. One of them probably has more written in it, but honestly at the moment I cannot face going any further with details. And I really don’t need to – just sitting here holding that card in my hand tells me enough.


Today, 28 years later, I did not abandon God, nor did He abandon me. Even though in my human weakness and frailty, I allow myself to be so overcome with life that I occasionally allow circumstances to make me feel abandoned. Hence, the almost sting of a slap as I read the verse. And remembered the prayers that hadn’t been answered then. And thinking of the so many more prayers being prayed for loved ones now.

Will they be answered as hoped, and asked or not? I do not know. What I do know is I shall keep trusting God and praying as I did then. Because even if NO prayers of mine are directly answered, ever – that alone does not negate God. It does NOT mean there is no God. More likely it means I just don’t understand the full scope of things. As God, He IS all knowledge and sovereign. I. AM. NOT. And at the end of this life, I shall not be disgraced or shamed because I trusted Him. For in Him is eternal life.  The only answered prayer that is essential in life and death terms is the one where an individual confesses with their mouth the Lord Jesus and believes in their heart that God raised Him from the dead – then that person will be saved. And the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” (Romans 10:9-13)

As a child, our son, Aaron called. Jesus saved. He is now with the Lord.

How could I not continue to set my face like a flint still. Even as it seems other prayers seem to remain unanswered for those of us still here.

What initially felt like a slap to the face is what my enemy Satan wanted me to feel.  What was it actually?

A firm, loving grasp of my Lord’s 2 hands as he turned ‘my whole face’ towards HIM                                 to remind me where my trust is placed.

What will I do now in face of these current seemingly unanswered prayers for my loved ones?   Will I turn away and dismiss God as a fable? NO.   Will I continue to pray and trust my sovereign God? YES. Wholeheartedly yes.

I will set my face like a flint and I KNOW I will not be put to shame.

There is coming a day… Hallelujah! And I shall see Jesus as HE is for I TOO shall be like Him. Place your trust in HIM and you shall see HIM too. And shall not be put to shame.

Until next time keep calm and pray on!

Shell Sig


Life, Time, Grief and a furnace filter.

Evidence of life stopping in throes of deep sorrow, while life continues to go on.

We have been consistent in years past with changing out the filter furnaces 2-3 times a year for sure. Beginning of spring and fall at least, if not more often. Since the temps inched up to the 80’s several days here, Danny turned the AC on yesterday. Problem. Something wasn’t working. Had to call the repair guy. This brought to mind the question, hey when did we last change the filter? Neither of us could remember.

Danny pulls it out and OH YES, it is past time. As you can see the date on it.


April 15, 2017.


Normally we would have changed it out about September/October at latest.

But you see, September 11, 2017 – life stopped.


As it does for so many when facing the passing of a loved one.

And it is surreal knowing that life, goes on even when someone we love is no longer with us. We go on, but for a while, initially, life stops. Maybe for a few days, maybe a few weeks, perhaps for months, for some it could even be longer. It will be different for each individual.

But we know, in actuality, time does not stand still. For it is because of the passing of time that a part on the AC broke from extended wear and tear -over time- causing it to break and no longer work.




Shocking us when we saw the date on this filter. How can it be February of 2018? Only 2 more months and it would have been a whole year since changing the filter. How could we have let it go so long?


Grief. Sorrow. The imbalances that occur when trials and sorrows enter our life. Whether big or little, we will all face them. For me, I am so thankful to know the Lord has me in His grip. Even when I am off balance and don’t know which way is up or forward, He is my guide. He shall hold my right hand with assurance to not be afraid for He shall help me. And so He has. And shall continue.  I do miss my son. But with my belief in the Lord and knowing where Aaron is – I really wouldn’t wish him to leave there! to come back to fulfill desires here. Much more, am looking forward to joining him there!

Shell Sig

What a day that will be! Hallelujah! Then there will truly be no more time for eternity shall be the reality.

Coincidence? He knew.

Journal AvatarAs it happened a remembrance came to the forefront of thinking regarding a task I had desired to do a few days earlier, but had forgotten about before getting to it. On a whim I took off to do it before forgetting again. And in that task was found an answer and affirmation of things that had been on my heart for the last few weeks.Psalm 25 4 5 FB

In the midst of the mess of said task was found an old Daily Bread Devotion page -from 2015- which I had obviously meant to keep with my journals from the note written on it. How it found its way to where it was is a mystery, however I do believe my Lord knew right where it had landed. And in His goodness and grace He nudged my spirit with His that morning prompting me forward with said task knowing full well what I would find. Some may call it happenstance or coincidence. But I recognized the gentle touch of the Lord’s Spirit, as I read the words on the page…

Do not “become too attached to ‘your’ plans that ‘you’ may resist God’s direction or His timing.”
“We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for.” said Chambers. “God engineers everything. Wherever He puts us, our one great aim is to pour out a whole-hearted devotion to Him in that particular work.”

Prov 3 5 6…and He comforted me in His peace of assurance with a spiritual hug that morning.

“I am with you daughter, I hear your prayer, your calling out. I am directing your path as promised, just keep resting in me daily.”Identity in Him

And my continued prayer is: “Lord, may I love and serve you with all my heart where You have placed me TODAY.”

Shell Sig












2016 Full Ahead

A good reminder for January. God is not just the God of the past, and present but the future as well. He knows where we are and the path we are headed down.

He Journal 2016has seen it before we even knew it would be a part of our life.

Doesn’t that just boggle the mind? !!

In Deuteronomy 31:8 Moses reminded the Israelites, ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neithDo not be afraider fail you nor abandon you.’
He goes before us – obstacles are removed, or maybe even allowed to stay in
place, as He knows best what is needed to accomplish His end goal. And even when…

(for He knows we will at some point for he knows we are but dust)…

when we take a turn, or jog that He hadn’t desired for us to take….

EVEN THERE…wherever the ‘there’ might be,

…shall his right hand lead me.    (Psalm 139:10)

Trusting in Him is always a ‘win-win’ for us. So we can ‘fear not, neither be dismayed.’ No matter what circumstances may look like to us. Our responsibility is always just to believe. He does go before us, He is WITH us, and He will not fail us, nor forsake us.

Whatever situation you may face this year He sees how all is going to play out – He IS with you, He will NOT fail you, nor forsake you. Therefore, do not fear, or be discouraged.

“He cannot have taught us to trust in His name and

thus far have brought us to bring us to shame.”  Newton

Thank you Lord, for the encouraging reminder for another new year that is sure to be full of new unknowns – decisions to be made and changes to be faced.

Direct your gaze upon Him and see what He will do.


13 13